I recently asked Sgt. Honda what he wears when driving the general. He told me that it depends on what event the general is attending. Apparently, if they are going to a military function then Sgt. Honda wears his Service “A” or Alpha uniform. I have only seen him in this uniform once. It was during his boot camp graduation. Unfortunately my computer acquired a virus and many of those photos were lost.

Here is an illustration of the Service “A” uniform.

When the general attends private social events, Sgt Honda dresses in a suit and tie. Here he is in front of the car that carries the general. Nice.

Yes the car is cool, but I prefer to see a fine young man dressed in suit any day.

Grandma M sees the chemo doctor or PA (Physician Assistant) every two weeks. A couple of weeks ago she saw the PA. I was not able to attend this meeting since I was at a job interview. I am quite sure the job will not work out considering I have not heard anything. I think my lack of experience in MS Excel might play a part in this. Oh, well.

Anyway, Grandma M told me that the PA called her Kiddo. I did not think much of it at the time. I just figured it was a term of endearment and you know she worked in a doctor office as a young woman and times were different then.

This Monday we saw the PA. I do believe he called her Kiddo about fifty times. If you think I am exaggerating go ahead and ask Grandma M. At one point I thought to myself if he calls her Kiddo one more time I might have to remove Grandma M from the office while I have a conversation with this guy.

It did not come to that. I controlled myself. I get he is part of the staff and meant no harm. But Holy Cow, she is Mrs. Grandma M. Not Kiddo. I will not even go into the ditzy lady in the check out area.

Outside of that, we are down to less than 2 1/2 weeks of radiation and 2 more chemo treatments. For some reason the chemo treatments seem to lesson in time. We were out on Monday in record time. Our nurse was funny this week as he caught us staring at the IV bag.

He said, “You know, a watched bag never empties.”

My reply, “Yea, we know.”

Onward  Kiddo.

Yesterday I went to a memorial service for a woman I met probably over twenty-five years ago. She is Lady Red’s grandma. She lived ninety-three years. She had children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and great-great grandchildren. Amazing.

What is more amazing is her life story. She had a hard childhood. She went on to marry a wonderful man and led a productive, decent life. She became a nurse and gave to others. She was always active and led a healthy life.

The pastor said that she did four things every day.

She read a verse from Proverbs to gain wisdom.

She ate oatmeal.

She ate grapefruit.

She walked her dog twice a day.

When I heard this I thought, “Well, at least I do one of those things, i.e. dog walking.”

Maybe this is the key to a long and prosperous life or maybe not. It does show discipline and faith. I like that. I am lucky to have met Lady Red’s family. I realized today that I never knew her grandma’s name. She was simply known as “Grams.”

Yesterday as I read her memory card I learned her name.

Rest peacefully Grams in heaven.

That is we are in week 4 of Grandma M’s radiation treatments and week 3 of chemo. I must say, so far, so good. She is starting to feel the fatigue from the radiation although I believe she is doing much better then at the beginning. She seems to breathe better and she is walking much faster.

Chemo is going well. We both wish they could just squeeze the crap into her a little faster. I joked about learning how to speed up the drip. (Yes everyone, it is a joke! If we can not have humor once in awhile our heads will blow off.)

We found out that our radiation friends live only a few blocks away. Small world even in the cancer world. I enjoy our daily conversations in the waiting room. They’ve lived in the neighborhood for about 40 years. The husband told me the spot that my house was built on was once a dumping ground for everything you could imagine. Great. Explains the stuff that turns up in my yard. I figure in about 10 to 20 years I will meet up with my neighbors in the chemo room.

Seriously though, I am pleased with the progress. The doctors are too. I saw the radiation doctor on TV a couple of weeks ago. He was surprised because he did not know when the show was supposed to air. Makes sense. Busy guy.

As for me, I am fairing well. Tired sometimes yes. I still believe I am getting more than I am giving. Could be wrong, but I do not think so.

Here is a chart showing the colors for cancer ribbons and bracelets. So far I have worn 3 colors. I think that is about enough.

The middle is about where we are at in Grandma M’s cancer treatment. We are about to complete week three in radiation and week two in chemo. Why then does it feel a whole lot longer? I am guessing because stressful situations tend to blow up like balloons and can pop at any given moment. I must say, I think we are all doing ok considering.

Grandma M is tolerating the treatments well. Just do not give her any mind altering drugs or extra steroids thank you very much. Trouble sleeping and coping is something plaguing all of us at this point. She asked me how people can get hooked on narcotics and then proceed to function through life. My answer was simple. “I have no idea Mom. I can’t do pills either.”

My solution to insomnia is to watch some old episode of The Waltons or Little House on the Prairie or to do what I am doing now. Blog. If you can not beat them, join them. The interwebs never sleep.

I’ve also thought about setting up the 3am club. We could call or text another person and see if they are awake too. Only that might disturb the people that we live with who  actually sleep all night.

Anyway, tired or not we continue to fight.

I spoke with my son, Sgt. Honda yesterday morning. I was surprised when he texted me to call him because I just spoke to him the day before. Since he is so far away I will take any opportunity to talk with him.

He called to tell me about a movie he had just finished watching. The movie is called Courageous and is about four police officers and their relationships with their wives and children. I have not seen the movie as I am writing this post. I plan to see it soon.

Here is the trailer.

Click here to view the embedded video.

My son called to tell me he was moved by the interaction with one man and his child or should I say the lack of interaction. Sgt. Honda does not have children yet. I do know he very much wants to be a father. The movie brought out several emotions in my son. One being that he was not sure if he would one day be a good father. Let’s just say those feelings are justified and leave it at that.

I assured him he did not have anything to worry about. I think most people wonder if they will succeed at parenting. Sure we all make mistakes because we are humans. I told him I know he will be a great father because I raised him and all of my children to be good people. I told him once again that I am proud of him. I am PROUD of all my children. And grandchildren.

I always find it amazing that no matter how old your children become, they will always be your babies in your heart. Needing you to reassure them at certain points. Fixing the owies so to speak.

Sometimes you can not do that. But you still try to do your best.

Sgt. Honda, all will be well.

I recently received photo proofs from my daughter, Cinderella. I had to take screen shots to save them. Sshhh, quiet I did not just say that.

Anyway, here are some of my favorites.

My son-in-law Tango and D.D.

My daughter Cinderella and Butterfly.

Can you believe this child is 10 and as tall as her mom?

D.D. and Butterfly. Ohhh…

The B family. Tango, Cinderella, Butterfly, and D.D.

Donnie continues to live in our hearts.

The other day I was able to see the huge radiation machine used in Grandma M’s treatment.  The table she lays on is under a ball shaped apparatus that emits the radiation beam. She tells me that during treatment arms protrude and the ball rotates around her. When the ball returns above her she knows she is almost done and has completed another treatment day.

I hope I am describing this correctly. Technical issues are not my forte as I am right-brained and I was more inclined to notice the orange colors accenting the machine.

During her treatment I wait in a small room where I can see signs that light up while the machine is in use. One says Beam in Use and when the light is on I know she is receiving the radiation. I can also hear a high-pitched sound that one patient affectionately called, “the music.”

I could not find the exact picture of the machine that is used on Grandma M, but I did find a relatively close image.

Technology is truly amazing. My mind can hardly wrap around how someone could figure out how to come up with this treatment. I am glad they did.

When my granddaughter, Butterfly went through treatment for leukemia we all pulled together. It was not an easy time. There was many sleepless nights and grueling days. There was meltdowns over french fries and burrito wars. Tears were commonplace along with some head banging.

Grandma M went to her chemo training today. It brought back many memories for me. Doctors and nurses telling us what to expect. The possible side effects are daunting. However, what I found most profound was the compassionate nature of these medical angels. The same was true with Butterfly. I am happy to find the same today.

The real reason of this post is to clarify why I call my granddaughter Butterfly. First, let me say that Grandma M has worn a gold butterfly necklace for years. When Butterfly was done with her chemo treatments we had a “No More Chemo” party for her. We bought helium balloons to release. I looked for a special balloon to go along and could only find this huge butterfly balloon. I bought the huge butterfly balloon, we attached it to the others, and we released them to the heavens.

This is why I call my granddaughter Butterfly.

A couple of weeks ago my mom, Grandma M asked me to wear her butterfly necklace while she undergoes treatment for her cancer. I had no words at the time. I did have tears. Life is strange sometimes.

I do have something to say about that. At the “No More Chemo, No More Radiation” party, I will return the butterfly necklace to its rightful owner.

Grandma M.